Cindy Tollen
I’m a down-to-earth, no-nonsense human with a knack for noticing the behavior patterns that keep people stuck. Therapy is a second career for me, but it feels like the work my life experiences were preparing me to do all along. I bring warmth, honesty, curiosity, and a little humor into the room because healing can be meaningful without being serious every single minute. I work especially well with people pleasers, chronic overthinkers, boundary-strugglers, and anyone who is tired of living according to everyone else’s expectations.
First session
Our first session is about getting to know one another and seeing whether we feel like a good fit. Nothing fancy, no pop quiz, and no pressure to tell your entire life story in the first 50 minutes. We’ll talk about what brought you to therapy, what has been feeling difficult, and what you hope might change. If you are ready to dive in, we can. If you need time to ease into the process, that is completely okay too.
Strengths
I have lived enough life to know that people are complicated, change is rarely linear, and good advice is not the same thing as meaningful support. My experience helps me bring perspective, practicality, and compassion without judgment. I am especially skilled at helping clients recognize patterns related to anxiety, people pleasing, guilt, overfunctioning, and weak or nonexistent boundaries. Together, we can work toward making decisions based on your values rather than fear, obligation, or the desperate need to keep everyone happy. You do not have to become a completely different person. You may simply need permission and support to become more fully yourself.
Ideal clients
My clients are often the ones everyone else relies on; the helper, fixer, peacemaker, or professional who looks like they have it all together while secretly running on caffeine, anxiety, and sheer determination. They're tired of overthinking, second-guessing themselves, and carrying everyone else's needs. They want more than coping; they want peace, clarity, and a life that actually feels like their own.
Origin story
I suspect I was always going to end up doing this work. I just took the scenic route and, in true human fashion probably learned a few things the hard way. Counseling is my second career, but I don’t see my first career as a detour. I see it as part of the preparation. Life has a funny way of giving us experiences we don’t necessarily ask for, lessons we don’t always appreciate at the time, and enough plot twists to eventually make us wonder, “Okay…what am I supposed to do with all of this?” For me, the answer turned out to be counseling. I’ve always been someone people talk to. I’ve been told I’m a good listener, and I’ve always had a knack for making connections and helping people feel comfortable enough to be themselves. But becoming a therapist taught me that good listening is only the beginning. Therapy requires curiosity, humility, compassion, self-awareness, and a willingness to sit with people in the uncomfortable, complicated, and wonderfully messy business of being human. Looking back, I think my life experiences were quietly preparing me for this work long before I knew I was preparing. I didn’t necessarily choose counseling because I had everything figured out. Quite the opposite. I chose it because I learned firsthand that life can be complicated, people are rarely as simple as they seem, and sometimes having someone beside you can make all the difference.
Treatment methods
Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
Your brain means well, but sometimes it's a terrible roommate. CBT helps us notice the thoughts that fuel anxiety, self-doubt, or overwhelm, then replace them with perspectives that are more balanced, realistic, and helpful.
Dialectical Behavior (DBT)
DBT is like an emotional toolkit for real life. We'll build skills to manage big feelings, survive hard moments without making them harder, and improve relationships—without pretending you're a Zen master.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Mindfulness isn't about emptying your mind if it were, we'd all be in trouble. It's about learning to notice your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them, creating space for choice instead of autopilot.
EMDR
In my practice, I use EMDR to help you work through painful memories. When you’re ready, I guide you through side-to-side eye movements or tapping while you briefly focus on a memory. The goal is to help the memory feel less upsetting and have less impact on your daily life.
Location
Virtual sessions
In-person sessions220 Thunderbird Dr, El Paso, TX 79912, Suite 14
Identifies as
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Licensed in
- TexasLicense 99967