Lance Oldham
You know what you need to do. So why is it so hard to actually do it? If ADHD, anxiety, or procrastination has you overthinking, falling behind, and feeling far from your best self, you're not lazy and you're not alone. I'm a North Carolina therapist specializing in ADHD, executive function, and anxiety in adults. Many of my clients are thoughtful, capable people who already understand themselves well. What gets in the way is knowing what to do differently when real-life demands, emotions, or old habits take over. I help clients turn insight into action by breaking practical strategies into small, doable steps and working through whatever keeps them from sticking. Sessions are virtual, so therapy fits into a busy life.
I focus on helping clients recognize patterns in their thinking, emotions, and behavior, and then develop realistic strategies they can actually use outside of sessions.
First session
Our first session is a chance to get to know each other and understand what has brought you to therapy. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing, what you would like to change, and what has or hasn’t been helpful in the past. I’ll ask questions and listen carefully so we can begin making sense of what’s going on. We don’t need to figure everything out in one session. My goal is for you to leave feeling heard, understood, and with a clearer sense of where we can begin.
Strengths
My biggest strength is helping people turn insight into action. I bring deep experience with ADHD and executive function, including supporting andult professionals, educators, and parents on how these challenges show up in daily life. I pair that with CBT, mindfulness, and a warm, trusting relationship where you feel safe and understood. I'm also a lifelong Star Wars fan, and I see therapy as a kind of Jedi mind training. When Luke can't believe what Yoda just did, Yoda tells him that disbelief is exactly why he fails. Negative beliefs about ourselves are often what hold us back. We won't be lifting X-Wings out of swamps, but we can build the awareness to step back, notice our thoughts instead of getting caught in them, and let go of habits that aren't serving us.
Ideal clients
My ideal clients are individuals who feel stuck in patterns of overthinking, stress, difficulty following through on goals, or not feeling like they are functioning as their best self. Many struggle with anxiety, ADHD, procrastination, or feeling mentally overwhelmed by responsibilities at work or in life. They are often thoughtful and capable people who want practical strategies and compassionate understanding in order to better manage their thoughts, emotions, and daily demands. They may have tried to solve these challenges on their own and are now looking for guidance, structure, and support to move forward more effectively.
Origin story
I've lived with anxiety for most of my life, so I know firsthand how it shapes the way you think, feel, and act. For 34 years, my own therapist and mentor has had a deeply positive influence on my personal growth, and on my growth as a therapist over the past 18+ years. That experience showed me what good therapy can do. I bring both sides to my work: professional training with evidence-based tools, and a lived understanding of what it takes to change long-standing patterns.
Ongoing work together
In addition to the built-in measures that provide data and track how you feel our work together is progressing, we will lean on the positive relationship that I aim for us to develop. I want my clients to feel comfortable sharing what is working and what is not working in our time together. I feel it is my responsibility to adapt to meet all of my client's unique needs to the best of my ability. That is through open and honest dialogue. Being vulnerable can feel difficult. I always aim to meet my clients where they are. Clients determine the pace and what feels comfortable for them. I am the guide, the copilot, there to offer clarity and direction to help you figure out the route and options to help you get where you want to be. Whatever our frequency of meeting is, I encourage intentional and active strategies to practice outside of the session. Our life is the classroom, the laboratory, in which we experience the world. Our experiences in the world and interpretations of those experiences often shape our beliefs, emotions, and subsequent choices. To undo the unhelpful negative beliefs and choices, and to overcome the difficulties we are facing, we have to apply what we learn out in the world with the knowledge and skills we develop within the therapy session.
Treatment methods
Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
I use CBT to help clients examine the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Together, we look at thinking patterns that may feed anxiety, avoidance, or self-criticism, and practice more flexible ways of responding. For ADHD, I use CBT-based strategies for planning, time management, and follow-through, so you're building systems that work with your brain rather than against it.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
I use mindfulness to help clients notice thoughts, emotions, and physical responses without immediately reacting to them. Brief exercises can slow things down and create space between an experience and your response to it. This is especially helpful when anxiety, distraction, or emotional reactivity make it hard to stay grounded.
Eclectic
I draw from several evidence-based methods rather than relying on one framework for everyone. CBT and mindfulness are usually the foundation, and I adapt my approach to each person's goals, preferences, and circumstances.
Location
Virtual sessions
Identifies as
Top specialties
Other specialties
Serves
Licensed in
- North CarolinaLicense 7068